Indian weddings are such amazing way to say that yes, weddings are special and that we love celebrating the same. In vanniyar weddings too you will see that there would be three days grand celebrations. These weddings would be full of rites and rituals. In the times when everyone do not have so much of time, people in Vanniyar matrimony have now reduced this to a single day celebration. It used to be three day celebration initially. These weddings have lots of rites and rituals and just go through the same so that you can get the basic understanding.
The basic customs and rituals
- There is one amazing and different ritual in Vanniyars. You will really find this quite different, there is a ceremony called as Betrothal. In this, the bride groom goes to the bride’s house a few days before the wedding. In front of many guests he would give some gifts to the bride’s father and mother. This would include money, jewels, milk money, beetle, sweets and so on. This is like a kind gesture on the part of the groom that since the father in law has given her a good and well-nourished girl. Three times, the groom would say in the mother tongue that, the money is mine and the girl is mine. In return to this father in law would say the money is mine and girl is yours.
- There is one more traditional and different ceremony wherein the bride groom allows the bride to touch the bow and the sword that he carries. He then proceeds for the wedding in a grand style.
- These people do have other rituals like Nalagu, puja of deities and kanganam etc. you will see that there used to be three day celebrations of such rituals in earlier days. But modern families rarely have such time. Thus, they try to cover up almost all the rituals within a day.
It is good that in Vanniyar matrimony too people have become quite open and modern. This makes it very clear that things can be done in the way you wish as per the convenience. The families have become modern and thus even though they are specific about the rituals; they would carry out these things as per the convenience of everyone.
In the times when everyone has become quite frank, you can see that people do attend the weddings but they inform the hosts form the beginning only. This will help the host make the necessary preparations.
We often do not get proper ideas about what the wedding custom would mean. In that situation it would be vital to ask someone who is elder to you. You can take help of grannies as they are quite expert and experienced in such matters. It is really vital that when you can understand the rituals first and then follow them. The current generation is quite new and different and they really do not mind when they are taught about the customs. They search for reasoning in everything and thus it is vital that you really understand all the wedding customs before following them.