If you ask anyone who stays away from her family, they’ll tell you about the experience of residing with a joint family. Around 10-12 people living under one roof is sheer fun. It’s an experience which is quite inexplicable, at least in words. But, there are some who’d rather stay with just their partner and children. Most girls prefer to have a love-marriage nowadays and if you ask them the reason, they’ll probably vent their apprehension on a joint family. In essence, this has been integral to the Community Matrimony in India, cutting across religions and cultures.
The root of this terror of a joint family system is quite hard to find, but you as a daughter-in-law does need to make certain adjustments to live in this system. Let it be clear from the very onset that real life joint families are not like the ones you have in those crash n burn candy floss romance TV soaps. If you’re engaged to a guy who lives in a joint family and you’re casting aspersions on your future, there’s no to worry. Here are some times that can help you to happily and easily adjust sans any comprises in your new house.
- Respecting your in-laws: This is the first and foremost thing is respecting your in-laws. They might be younger or older, or closely related, but respecting as a member of your own family will make you much better in place. A marriage is a communion of two souls and two families in the Indian ethos. Just realize this and endeavor a little to accept them as your very own. It begins right from the first day.
- Understanding responsibilities: A big family is bound to have many responsibilities and the biggest misconception majority of girls have is that these tasks will fall on their inexperienced shoulders. Fret not, there are other women in the house too and you just need to share the tasks by sorting them out. Just take the initiative of fulfilling them.
- Being helpful: After you enter into a new household, it will take a time to get used to their ways. Your in-laws help you to adapt to them and you can do your part in helping them out. Just ask if they need help and show interest in their affairs. That’d make them embrace yours instantly.
- Weighing your words: Living with so many persons having different personalities and temperaments will effectuate clashes. Avoid any such thing, especially in your marriage’s first year by measuring your actions and words consciously. You never know how or what someone feels about something. It’s wise to keep your tongue in check rather than in cheek.
- Try not to complain: This might be an eyesore for some, but complaining gets you nowhere initially. If a clash or misunderstanding occurs between you and another family member, never get jittery about it and complain to your husband or in-laws. That attitude paints a negative impression of you. You can rather reflect on the control part of it.
In addition to this, maintaining healthy relationships, staying away from hate mongering or gossip and never advocating will help to adjust to a joint family. After all, staying on good terms with your family members is the very cultural fabric that any Community Matrimony thrives on.
Download the Shaadi.com app and find your perfect match from the largest Matrimonial site