“Marriages are made in heaven but require efforts on earth” – a common refrain. A marriage is a commitment for a lifetime where adequate efforts from both sides need to be made. What makes a marriage work isn’t and can’t be known or penned as it is a relation between two individuals with too many variables to put a finger on. There are varying views on the right time to agree to wedlock, with timeframes ranging from “love at first sight” to arguments in favor of individuals taking “maximum time”. All “experts” would definitely agree to the one fact, that the couple must most definitely be comfortable with the idea of wedlock. He should have ticked off some aspects in their “mind based checkbox” prior to taking the plunge. Of course, the issues of commitment and adjustment will just about start thereafter.
There are, however, certain aspects which must be looked into before taking the next step. Important of these is asking oneself the pertinent question of whether you are ready to accept the other person as it is. One must, of course, refrain from entering a wedlock or saying “I do” to another with only the fear of remaining lonely, pushing oneself towards tying the knot. Another important aspect is to ensure that one is one’s true self when with the other person. Seeing that marriage also means the same thing to both persons is another important issue to be understood.
Some aspects which could be looked into given today’s modern world include seeing if incomes match and if lifestyles of both families mesh.
Other integral things one should look at are family background and upbringing. It is pertinent that both the families are similar in their thinking and social status in order to have a seamless transition into getting into the other person’s family.
One should also look at the friend’s circle of your future partner and your compatibility with them. This will further assist in understanding the like-mindedness of the proposed spouse. Try to spend a lot of time with your partner in his surrounding with his friends to know more about him/her. Try to meet in different settings like dinners, movies, picnics, plays and understand each other’s interest. This also plays a huge role in deciding whether to take the plunge with that person.
The most important issue to understand is that the matrimonial is for you yourself as an individual and all other aspects including family, parents, work, finances come later. Given these, the most important issue is to understand whether one is ready to get married if the timing is right and whether the other person would be able to stand by your during your tough times. These will come from within the heart of the individual and a finger cannot be laid on these very abstract issues.
Take your time in making this life altering the decision of your time.
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