Being a daughter in law is not an easy task. On top of that being daughter in law in a joint family is an even more daunting task, one that make falter at. The icing on the cake will be in case it is a divorceematrimony alliance. In that case both the bride as well as the family members already have a prior experience that might be good or bad but from which stems expectations and differences. Here are a few tips for a nuclear family girl to adjust with a joint family. You might be inspired by seeing the Sooraj Barjatiya movies but trust us that the real life scenarios are nothing like that.
Show Respect: when you are getting married and becoming a part of another family, then one of the first things that you need to do is show the other family members that you respect them. Remember that a marriage is not only a union of 2 people but 2 families also. Hence, it is important that you try and gel into the other family seamlessly The best way to gain a foot at the new place is to ensure that you respect the family from day one. This will help to break the ice that comes with a divorcee matrimony alliance.
Take Responsibility: Being a bride of a joint family, there will be lots of expectations along . As a bride, you are some one’s daughter in law, some one’s sister in law, maybe an aunt, elder sister, niece in law and so on In short apart from a bride you are many other things also and with each comes a set of responsibilities and duties. Try and gauge and ask around if you are expected to do anything particular and seek help whenever in doubt. At times, it might seem like a daunting task trying to do so many things together but trust us with time you will get a hang of it.
Think and speak: When there are so many people in the family, you will have to be extra careful when you speak. You need at least a year to understand people and know what they like and don’t. Hence, the first year , try and play it safe by thinking and then speaking .Also , remember since it’s a divorcee matrimony alliance, it is as difficult or challenging for the family members as it is for you . Hence, you need to give them time and space to open up to you and make you a part of the family.
Don’t compare: The worst thing that you can do in case of a divorcee matrimony alliance is to compare it with the last experience . Remember that every episode in life is different from the other and it will be unfair for the joint family to be constantly scrutinized and compared with your last experience.
When a small town girl marries a metro groom there are lots of extra things to be taken care of. These are marriages where both the parties need to work on and invest time in the marriage. The sooner they do so, the better it would be for them. There are various aspects that you need to keep in mind when you are planning a divorcee matrimony alliance involving a small town girl and a metro groom. Here are some life lessons that will help you stay afloat during the initial few months of marriage and make it work all right.
Make the girl comfortable: In a marriage, the girl is usually the one , who makes all the sacrifices and compromises in order to make the marriage work. They will be leaving the comfort of their own home to come and stay at the groom’s place. Hence, the least that the groom can do is to make the girl feel comfortable. Also, in the case of a divorcee matrimony alliance, there might have been a previous episode which still makes the girl feel jitters . Hence, it is advisable that the groom goes that extra step to make the girl feel comfortable.
Make her feel at home: The rules, norms and conduct at a small town are different as to that of a city. Hence, it makes a lot of sense if the girl feels out of place. Also in the case of a divorcee matrimony alliance, the girl might already come with certain preconceived notions so the groom needs to make her feel at home. The groom needs to make her let go of these preconceived notions and mental block if any.
The groom needs to Act as a friend: This small town girl post marriage has come to an unknown city and an unknown house. The fact that she knows no one around and also has no one to ask questions or to seek help from might seem daunting and intimidating. The groom needs to act like the girls best friend. The groom needs to ensure that the girl does not feel lonely at all. He needs to always be with her and act as a confidant with whom she can share all her worries and concerns. She will miss her family and friends being around her, the groom will need to help her out in that phase.
Help with adjusting in the family: when a small town girl marries a metro groom in a divorcee matrimony alliance then both the partners need to help each other to gel in with their respective family and family members. Each and every family has a separate way of working and will also have certain specific expectations from each other. The bride and the groom need to understand that and help each other to settle in start a new and happy life afresh. Both need to work equally hard in this aspect.