MY STORY: WE WERE MARRIED WITH PATRIKA MATCHING PREDICTING A PERFECT MATCH. IT SURVIVED FOR LESS THAN 3 MONTHS

Our rituals and traditions are like a guiding path for us. People who make them the only role in life suffer the most in the end. Patrika matching is one such tradition which is followed in Indian marriages. People depend a lot on patrika before selecting an appropriate bride/ groom for the boy/ girl. In most of the parts of India, people are still following this tradition and even if the boy and girl are not suitable for each other, marriages are fixed as per the patrika.

 

Patrika matching 1
PC: Marrymeweddings.in

 

Patrika can be wrong too

Just like every girl, I was also looking forward to a great life ahead after marriage. When my family discovered that the boy’s patrika is a good match for me, they too were very happy and excited about the whole idea. I was busy in my preparations for the big day to come and it all went well until the first month of marriage. But problems began to cramp out in the end of 1st month wherein my husband started to yell at me without any reason and my in-laws no longer supported me for anything. All I was facing was criticism from all of them.

I tried to give it another chance thinking that I might be unable to adjust in this new environment and started to please them by cooking their favorite meals, etc. But nothing worked out. I told my parents about all this and they asked me to try more from my side and I did as they said until one day my patience level broke down when my husband raised his hand to slap me for not ironing his shirt. That was the day when I decided to step out of my marriage and left the house.

Our knowledge- our decision

We have given our decision-making authority to the patrika readers despite having the knowledge and capability of choosing a right life partner. The law of India says that after 18, one can take their own decision to get married and the standard age to get married is 21. This law is being enforced because at this age, a person is capable enough to take his/ her own decision. Where family members are involved, they are even more aged, more experienced and more knowledgeable to take the right decision then, why is that patrika matching is of so much importance?

Several types of research and studies have proved that marriages fail even after matching patrika and succeed even when patrikas don’t match. In the coming years, people are going to outcast this system and will listen to their gut feeling. The coming generation will believe in true stories and live examples of a married couple and not on patrikas. Patrika is just a part of our horoscope in written form for future reference but, other than this, they should not be the mainstay of decision making for anyone.

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MY STORY: I MARRIED HIM DESPITE OUR UNMATCHED PATRIKA AND IT WORKED

India is a democratic nation and considered to be free when it comes to taking our own decisions but, is it really free? I guess not because even in this modern society, we still follow our old customs and traditions which have proven to be wrong a number of times. One such tradition is patrika matching which is more of a burden on arranged marriages.

 

Patrika matching
PC: Wevaphotography.com

 

Almost every Indian family looks forward to matching patrika of the boy and girl to be married before taking any further steps. Some people even match patrikas before meeting the families. What if, the family was good and because of the predictions of the patrika, you are declining a good offer? What if, the boy/girl is your type but, the patrika says something else? What if, something else is written in the fate but, the patrika reader said the opposite? All such questions can have answers which no one will want to think of or reply to.

Relevance of Patrika

With the changing scenario, some people have also understood the relevance of patrika in a marriage. However, they do not rely on patrika completely and consider other factors more important. When a child is born, (especially in India) his/her patrika is the first thing that is made by the pujari and even the name is given with the help of that patrika. Some even believe that our entire lifetime is engraved in it; one should just know to read it.

Unmatched patrika- unchanged life

The whole negotiation of patrika matching is a tiresome ritual but, still, it came out to be a positive decision for both of us. Although I knew that convincing my family with an unmatched patrika will be a tough fight but, finally I won over it. I liked the boy in my village and this liking grew from our childhood as we grown to play together sharing our toys. Our families have known each other for a long time and were good neighbors. Gradually, I fell in love with this guy but, never tried to tell him as I feared of my family.

One day when I discovered that my parents are planning my marriage, I had no choice than to speak out my heart. Without many quarrels, they accepted it but, they asked to match our patrika. Unfortunately, our patrikas didn’t match and it took days to think over the matter. Somewhere deep in my heart, I was praying to make them say ‘yes’ for both of us. The years of acquaintance and understanding between the families worked and we both were united in the bond of marriage. As per our patrikas, we were never good for each other but, even after all these years, our marriage is as fresh as the first day.

It is not necessary that every patrika matches in the same way as the families expect and the future predictions come out to be correct. There are couples who despite unmatched patrikas were married and are living a happy life together.

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HOW PATRIKA MATCHING CANNOT ALWAYS PREDICT THE CORRECT FUTURE

India is a country of many languages, religions, traditions and rituals. However, religion has always been a very sensitive issue in India and so are its traditions. People may become modern and technologically advanced but, still, they do not want to compromise with their rituals and traditions. Patrika matching is one such ritual which plays an important role in uniting two families in a bond called marriage.

Even today, people intend to follow the traditions which were followed by their ancestors. Some traditions are considered very serious and matching patrika to find the right bride/ groom is an inevitable part of any marriage. Nobody knew about their future or what is going to happen the next moment but, still patrikas play an important part in depicting future. It is believed that pairs are made in heaven and the heaven is in our patrikas that guide us to choose the right life partner.

 

Patrika matching
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Choosing the right life partner

There is an endless debate between love marriage and arrange marriage but patrika has always been an important part of every kind of marriage. Families do not just match patrika to know the future but also to console their heart that they have done the right thing. Since this ritual is being carried by their great-great-grandparents, they have to follow it. In most of the cases, arrange marriages have shown the highest relevance of patrika matching which has turned out to be right and wrong in some cases. The bride and groom are being forced to accept what their patrika is saying about their future husband/ wife without considering the fact that they like each other.

Patrika predictions- right or wrong

There are thousands of cases of arranging marriages which did not go the way they were predicted by the patrika (as said by the patrika readers). It is just in the head of the people that everything will be good if the patrika says so. Nobody can predict the future, not even the patrika. There are people out there who do not believe in patrika and are living happily ever after. There are lot many things which are of great importance in a marriage but, still, families give relevance to patrika. Nobody can answer or guarantee that patrikas can be right at all the times or if something opposite happens, how are patrikas to be justified.

Patrika is just a part of the whole ritual called marriage. They should not be given utmost importance rather they should be used just for reference. Our ancestors have given us our value system and these rituals as assets and it is our duty to preserve them in our family. Although one should also consider other things in a bride/ groom like their personality, their talents, etc. and not just judge them on what the patrika says. The world around us is changing and so, we also have to adapt to the changes else we can affect our own lives in a negative manner.

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